Step of Faith

February 6, 2008
Carla Carver
  

The sun rose this morning in the East, but this morning I was watching. At work, this is not an easy thing to do, but I felt drawn to the breaking rays. I watched the silent ball of light rise effortlessly in the sky and thought, thank you Lord, this is beautiful and I needed to see your glory. Back to my position on the line to stand and do my days work, but my mind was elsewhere. Today I was being baptized. The Encarta Dictionary defines it as to sprinkle or immerse somebody in water as a sign that the person has been accepted into the Christian faith. Funny how this world changes the appearance of things to suit its purpose. The Bible has more to say about the act of baptism and that was on my mind.

This has been a journey that has taken all my life—I just hadn’t realized that I was on this journey. I have wondered through this world like one of those little balls on a bumper pool table. The direction of my life has changed with each obstacle I have encountered and deflected off of. I had no game plan, no preset point of destination—no focus. I was as easily distracted as a child in a candy store with each new colorful treat stealing my attention. I placed my trust in my own abilities no matter how lacking, because everyone else in life will let you down in some way whether intentional or not. If I failed myself I had no one else to blame or to be mad at and that philosophy kept me in the shallows of life and in relationships.

I had a few dances with God along the way. I cried out to him during the breaking points and pleaded for his protection and his mercy and even thanked him a few times when something went well, but I never really let my guard down to him for most of these early years. I knew he was there, somewhere just beyond my limited understanding, doing the things that a God of the universe must do and every once in a while our paths would cross and we would have an encounter but then like the bumper pool ball I would be off again zigzagging through the maze of circumstances that were my life. Sometimes I realized how futile all my efforts were but for the most part I was content in my self management. I was proud of my accomplishments and my survival through the jungle of my life. God had given me the ability to survive the things I encountered in this life and I had done just that—survived. Imagine my surprise to find one day that God’s intention was not for me to merely survive but to thrive.

God brought me to a church that was full of life and energy and strong enough to keep me from bouncing around all over the place like that ball alone on the table. He set me in circumstances that made me uncomfortable for awhile, kept me thinking and challenged me to look beyond myself and the moment and focus. He took the past mistakes and let downs and bound them to himself. He opened my eyes to more than the pretty colored candy of this world and showed me the things I spent my whole life choosing not to see. He put people in my life that pushed me out of the safety I had grown so comfortable with encouraged me to try something different. In the times I stumbled and fell I felt him. In the times when my heart broke wide open I felt him. In the silence and in the chaos I felt him—and then I saw him. Hanging there on the cross, covered in blood and in my sins just waiting for me to put aside my pride and shame and guilt—and lay it at his feet.

In my heart I felt the pain of my past wash over me and cover me -- that was when I went under the water. Then I saw the light grow bright and felt my heart leap with joy—as I rose up out of the murky dimness of my life into the new life Christ was offering me. I guess we all have our Forrest Gump moments in life when we want to believe that the box of chocolates is what we get come what may. Imagine though just how wonderful the purpose driven life we are supposed to have through Christ could be and take a step of faith. I did.

Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with him? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised as he was. Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also share his new life. ( Romans 6:3~8)